The Story of Stained Glass

If there’s anything I’ve learned in 20 years it’s that God uses processes to transform.

It’s a cold lonely road. A road void of worth and purpose.

To be broken is to be a fragment of the person you thought you were supposed to be.

There is something significant about fragments in scripture. To be fragmented indicates that something has shattered, that something is incomplete, that there are pieces that are separated from the whole. And there will be times in life when something within you shatters. When your soul is simply fragmented.

Have you ever had something inside of you truly break? Has your worth not only been tarnished but utterly shattered into fragments? Have you remained in isolation in fear that no one else could possibly relate to the emotions you’re experiencing?

Masterpieces are often constructed from broken pieces. And often for something to be usable it must first be broken.

In fact, brokenness is a thread that runs all throughout scripture. It is carefully woven into the very fabric of every success story, every triumph, every display of God’s glory.

Yet, brokenness is the silver lining that surprises human beings. How could God use something that’s been shattered? Wouldn’t God be better off using something already whole…

This is the truth: There will be a season in your life where you feel misunderstood, unworthy and unusable for a perfect, faultless, whole God. A God who has never been fragmented and will never be.

Yet, this God, this perfectly whole, unblemished entity has felt the same pain that we endure, and He bore the punishment and emotional pain of an imperfect man. In fact, this God felt lonely and isolated and misunderstood. He understands the feeling of betrayal because humanity has blatantly betrayed Him time and time again. Yet, throughout the ages He has loved and loved again.

This perfect, whole God became man and lived a humble, misunderstood life. He did this so that He could understand the emotions of a broken, fallen, seemingly unusable creation. He became man so that He could not only see the brokenness of man, but physically feel the weight of humanity’s shame on His shoulders. He felt every bit of the shame and condemnation that we face and He carried them to broken pieces of wood. Wood from a tree, broken in order to become usable. Broken to serve the greatest purpose the world has ever known.

The cross, simply broken pieces of wood, meant to destroy and deplete the life of a criminal were fashioned and purposed into the very symbol of freedom.

So this brings us to the story of stained glass. The creation of stained glass is a process much like our lives. Historically, broken pieces of glass material are put under the pressure of heat in order to make something usable. Those broken, seemingly unusable pieces are then fused together to create one of the most breathtaking masterpieces known to the world.

Could it be that a perfect, whole God knew that it would take being broken, and put under pressure to create a usable masterpiece for His light to shine through. You see without light stained glass would not be the masterpiece that captures the attention of the world. Without light the striking beauty of the broken pieces would be overlooked. But when His light shines through broken pieces, fused together with Artistic design, the world is captured by the raw, unexplainable beauty of such a work. You see, a masterpiece is not praised in and of itself, but instead the Artist is praised and given glory. A piece of this sort brings worldly acclaim to the Artist. 

Perhaps this Artist uses broken pieces to create a work that shows His ability give wholeness and purpose to the most shattered of individuals.

You see, brokenness is an integral part in the making of a masterpiece. Only a true Artist understands the power of the process.

Know this: Years from now you will stand in awe of the masterpiece He created from humble fragments.

If you feel today that you cannot be used by God, or you don’t feel worthy enough, or whole enough, know that who you are in this current state is exactly what He is searching for.

After feeding the multitudes in John 6, we find that Jesus says something profound, and seemingly irrelevant about leftovers.

“Gather up the fragments that remain, that nothing be lost.”

I believe this verse is one of the most telling verses in scripture. Why? Because this Jesus is the master of fragmented things. He does not throw things away. Instead, He takes fragments and molds them into something beautiful.

Trust the process. Have faith in the Artist.

He is the master of broken pieces. 

When God Remembers You

Upon reading the title of this post, you are probably instantly forming some sort of argument in your head that combats the nature of this post. Because God cannot forget humanity. It's impossible. You may indeed be correct. But, I suppose you'll have to read on to find out...

You have to admit there's something quite gripping about this title. Something that piques your interest. Don't worry, I'm not being narcissistic. I didn't write it. In fact, this  particular title is based directly off a scripture that has become more relevant to me in the past year than I'd like to admit.

This particular scripture made itself very apparent to me in a desert place, or perhaps more eloquently put - a stagnant place. A season of my life where nothing flourished, nothing seemed to prosper in any way shape or form. A season of waiting. For what? 

I asked myself that same question. 

Have you ever had so many questions that your questions have questions? 

Have you ever really inquired of God? 

I mean really truly inquired.

I think we often forget that inquiry periods last much longer than we realize. In scripture inquiry periods are lengthy. It's actually a bit frightening just how massive these periods of time are. David inquired for 8 years while he ran from Saul and hid in caves.

Eight years. That's extensive. Unbearable. Unimaginable. 

Joseph, the man who had great dreams and plans for his life, waited over 30 years for answers. Thirty years for his God given dream to be fulfilled. Thirty years of tests and trials where his character was shaped and altered and refined. 

And finally, we meet Hannah. The woman whose greatest dream was to have a child. A woman who watched, and longed and waited and inquired. The book of Samuel specifies that she waited years. 

Years of crying out to God. Years. 

I came across this scripture while rereading this story that I've read countless times. This particular portion of scripture never stirred anything in me until this point. 

It's interesting to note that scripture says Hannah and her husband went and worshipped in the beginning of verse 19. At the end of the same verse we find this phrase: and the Lord remembered her. (1 Samuel 1:19)

That statement is significant.

In fact, there will be a moment in your life where you will feel the weight of that statement. Because you'll have lived through a winter season of your life. A season where nothing prospers, nothing grows. You're just waiting. And most likely, you're not even sure just what it is that you're waiting for. 

I can honestly say that that portion of scripture became sort of an anthem for me. A promise even. You could probably argue that this portion of scripture was for Hannah specifically and doesn't apply to us. But I found that God "remembers" people several different times throughout scripture. 

"And God remembered Noah..." - Genesis 8:1

"God remembered Abraham..." - Genesis 19:29

"Then God remembered Rachel...." - Genesis 30:22

The word "remember" in Hebrew is Zakar. Zakar is translated in other verses throughout scripture as "think", "mention" or "record". 

Sometimes remembering involves more than mere thought. Perhaps when God "remembers" something shifts in the atmosphere. 

Maybe you've been inquiring of God. And I was there. I still am to a certain extent. 

But I've learned that seasons of inquiry build something deep within us. Seasons of inquiry build foundations of faith. Because the more uncertain one becomes, the more one probes for answers. Perhaps a season of inquiry is really a season of seeking in disguise. Could it be possible that God doesn't answer immediately simply to see how long and how far we will seek him. 

Confusion leads us to the cross.

It leads us back to the only One who holds all answers great and small. 

And then all at once I understood. 

Perhaps the term remember does not imply that God had forgotten, but rather that He chose in that very moment to move on our behalf. That perhaps our worship in the midst of our inquiry season prompts God to remember, to act, to intervene. 

Life isn't simple. It isn't one dimensional. It instead is complex and confusing and not at all what we deem it to be. 

But our season of inquiry breeds a lifestyle of worship. 

The name Samuel means heard by God. Did you know that? I didn't. 

That tells me that God not only remembered Hannah, but that she in turn remembered Him when her inquiry period finally came to an end. Samuel's name is a testament to that.

He heard ever word, every prayer, every inquiry she ever uttered. 

And so He hears you. 

20 Things I've Learned By 20

1.) Don't waste your life obsessing over social media. When life is said and done your contribution to the Kingdom is vastly more importantly than anything temporal or trivial. Don't let yourself become too emotionally or physically invested in false reality. 

2.) Don't choose your friends or relationships based on their level of popularity or the connections they could give you by associating yourself with them. Dating or befriending someone solely because their dad has a big church or because they're well connected is shallow. Love people for who they are not "Who" they are. 

3.) Traveling as often and as far as you possibly can is a gift that lasts a lifetime. Memories you make while traveling are invaluable. 

4.) People you truly get you and understand all the intricacies of your soul, and the ideas that compose who you are, are extraordinarily few and far between. 

5.) Your relationships with your family should be first priority. Cherish your time with them. Tomorrow isn't promised. 

6.) Discipleship is everything. It's is the only lasting investment. 

7.) The most beautiful moments of my life will be spent in the presence of the Lord. I love His presence. It is incomparable. Why He cares about me and my mess and my dreams is beyond me. I'm so undeserving. But so thankful. 

8.) Don't wait until holidays and birthdays to show those around you how much you care. Like Cary Grant, buy someone a gift or send someone a novel long text or card because, "It's Tuesday" and you want to show them how much they mean to you. 

9.) Materialism is toxic. 

10.) You can learn so much simply by listening to someone else's story. 

11.) When I grow up I want to be Kendra Shock. 

12.) Live your life without searching for applause. In life you will do many unnoticed deeds. Let God promote you and reward you in His timing. Remember that His Glory is center stage, we are simply stage hands. 

13.) READ as much and as often as you can. Not only does it expand your worldview, but it shifts your paradigm and increases your vocabulary. 

14.) Love the cashier, befriend the waitress, be considerate of the coworker. They may be fighting battles we know nothing about. 

15.) There are many things that God has called you to do as an individual. But remember that the Bible says to be "instant, in season and out". In other words, move with God. Don't be so focused on one special calling or dream that you miss the leading of His Spirit. The apostle Paul operated not only as a missionary, but as a Pastor, teacher, evangelist and a Prophet. Don't become so obsessed with one calling that you miss something greater. 

16.) Remember people's names. It makes a huge difference. It has been said that the most important word in any language is someone's name. 

17.) Have hobbies. There is nothing more boring that conversing with someone who doesn't do anything outside of work. The most interesting people are those who have talents and hobbies that most know nothing about. 

18.) Singing is not a ministry. Leading people into worship is all about ushering the very Presence of God into His sanctuary. It's all about creating an atmosphere that allows His spirit to move freely and miraculously. In the same vein, worship starts on the floor of your bedroom. Platform worship is only a small extension of consistent private worship. 

19.) Be present. You don't get a rewind button.  

20.) Surround yourself with people who make you want to better in all areas of your life.

This year has been a God year. It's been a year of God proving Himself to me over and over and over again. 

Here's to 20. Leggo. 

Nostalgia

 

It’s this wistful emotion mingled with fear that completely overtakes you. But just for a moment.

                                                                                                                                                                                               

                                                                                      ~

 

I’m not really sure quite what triggered it, but for a fleeting moment I felt my chest constrict and I couldn’t breathe.  This was followed by a wave of emotion that flooded by being, seemingly out of nowhere. So this is what they call nostalgia.

Honesty time: I’m impatient. I tend to be very in control of my life. If I am having a rough day or am going through a rough period in my life, you will never know. I can conceal it.

Moving on.

In my effort to conceal my emotions, in a constant effort to be a strong woman who others can rely and depend on for emotional stability, I find myself on rare occasion, being completely and utterly blindsided by any rush of emotion that cannot be concealed.

I suppose I do not expect weakness from myself. You could probably play armchair psychiatrist with this issue, I’m sure. But indulge me for a moment. I have decided that nostalgia may be the best and worst emotion. If you can even call it an emotion.

Perhaps nostalgia forces us to address those deep rooted issues in our lives that we find ourselves sweeping deeper and deeper under the rug. Perhaps it triggers deeply imbedded emotions and memories that we have consciously chosen to forget. Perhaps nostalgia, although healing in some way, forces us to take a hard look at our current state of emotions.

I’ve always been a Christian. I have always tried to live a life worthy of being called a Christian. However, over the past few months I have given every single aspect of my life, significant or insignificant, to God. I have entered this new dimension of daily communion with God. In this process, which is in my opinion, just beginning, I have learned that it can be a lonely road. In pursuing the perfect will of God for our lives, our paradigms begin to shift and take on new forms.

Because, the perfect will of God is costly. Surrendering every aspect of your life to God’s perfect plan is costly. But it is worth every shred of currency.

My father recently made this statement during a sermon, “True faith is costly”.

That statement not only resonated with me, but it dealt with my heart. Believe it or not, faith is not declaring that you’re a Christian. It is not having a walk with God. True faith is surrendering every single minute detail of your existence to The Creator who knows infinitely more in a single second than we as human beings could ever dream in a lifetime.

True faith is going to cost you everything. Jesus simply stated, “Take up your cross and follow me”. He didn’t offer another option. Obviously we are not being asked to literally become martyrs and be crucified like Christ, but He is calling us to a level of trust in Him that seems not only unconventional but impossible. When you truly “Follow Christ” He requires that you cast aside your own plans and dreams, and follow His will for your life.

Now, you’re most likely wondering why in the world this post is entitled, “Nostalgia”. How does that term pertain at all to the randomness and complexity of whatever this post becomes.

I’m glad you asked.

In my pursuit to give God every single aspect of my life, one can become nostalgic for simpler times. One can become nostalgic for a time when life was carefree and simpler and filled with less responsibility to the calling that you know you have undoubtedly received. I’ve felt nostalgic for friendships that we’re once so evident in my life. I’ve felt nostalgic for someone to truly understand what it is that I’m feeling. Whatever this is. And so here I am, writing, perhaps just to myself, in an attempt to make sense of this.

Yet, I have found that while nostalgia is a very real emotion, a sentiment that cannot be expressed easily or simply, there is no greater joy and fulfillment than pursuing God’s will for your life with every ounce of your being. There is no greater joy than knowing that God’s plan, His timing is greater than anything I could construct for myself.

As someone with a Type A personality, I find myself constantly requesting that God would do things in my timing. Over the weekend, God spoke to me very clearly, and simply said, “My timing is not your timing. My ways are not your ways”. And, truly, when in the Bible did God ever move in our timing? He knows the end from the beginning, and in my impatience, in my small thinking, I forget that His construction of my life will amount to vastly more than I could ever dream up on my own.

So I’m saying goodbye to nostalgia.

It’s been real.

Here’s to living a life completely reliant on the Ancient of Days. Here’s to attempting to live a life that reflects faith at its core.

 

Why Me - A Book Review

Truth be told, I never write book reviews, however I made an exception for the NEWLY RELEASED book, Why Me written by my incredible friend, Misty Michael.

Guys. This book. The feels.

Why Me is the perfect combination of exceptionally raw honesty and intricate, dark depth. This book paints a genuine picture of the darkest corridor of sin and takes you along on her ride into His marvelous light. This project is truly a testament to the power God. While reading her heart wrenching story you will fall in love the boundless grace of Jesus Christ all over again.

This is the kind of project that one stumbles upon and leaves forever changed. Misty’s story will stay with you long after you have turned the last page. Her testimony is one that can only be described as unbelievable.

Misty was raised in church and loved the Lord, yet was succumbed to sexual abuse as a child. Later on in her young adult life she was also mentally and physically abused all while struggling with serious drug addiction. So many people experience abuse in some form, but feel that they cannot speak about it without judgement or repercussions of some sort. Yet, this book courageously tells the story of a woman who allowed God to use all of her strengths…and all of her deep seeded wounds to help heal the hearts of women all around the world.

I promise you this: By reading Misty’s book, you will find yourself beginning to heal.

That is without a doubt.

You will find God speaking to you within and through the pages of this novel. Misty has allowed God to use her as a vessel to speak into the lives of those whose pain appears overwhelming and unending. This is a sensational novel.

Thank you, Misty, for being brave enough to change the world. May God bless this endeavor more than you could ever dream.

 

You can purchase Misty's book at http://whymebook.com/ 

 

 

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I consistently have life-altering thoughts while on planes.

It happens like clockwork.

Airports are bizarre in that sense: they force you to contemplate your life with unusual scrutiny. I’ve come to the conclusion that I have these experiences while flying because I am so entirely out of my element. While in the air, I find myself seeing things as they truly are rather than how I want them to be.

And there’s this point when flying at night that the world is visible from an eerily high altitude. It was then that I suddenly had a realization of how truly insignificant I am. Not to say that I don’t matter or that individuals are unimportant, but I realized how small I was in the sense that this world is such a massive place. Problems that appear so immense are really quite small in relation to the monstrosity that is our planet.

I was soon faced with the realization that the majority of the population beneath me were entirely lost. Spiritually lost.

It’s an overwhelming revelation, because prior to this I was reminded of my very apparent insignificance. I was reminded that I am one soul surrounded by a vast ocean of lost souls. It is perhaps one of the most burdening, consuming realizations known to man.

Yet, what is one to do? What effect can one human truly have in the midst of a sea of lost souls? The Bible reveals that heaven rejoices when one soul is saved, yet my mind instantly wanders to the remaining souls that have yet to be won.

It’s daunting. It’s frightening. It’s humbling.

Yet, what are we to do?

The answer is simple. We must allow our burden for souls to move beyond contemplation to a state of action. We must allow our paradigms to not only shift but to grow bigger. Our willingness to serve must expand to something bigger.

Because the truth is this: revival does not begin in a sanctuary, but it begins in the heart of an individual and moves outward.

I’ve decided to allow The Great Commission to entirely consume my life. I don’t want it to simply be a portion of my life; I want my life to revolve around the purpose of the cross.

This is for all of you who find yourself unsatisfied with your impact on the world. You are capable of making a truly significant, earth-shattering impact on the world. Here’s to winning that vast ocean of lost souls because the time is now. Here’s to doing something bigger with our lives, something that’s bigger than ourselves.

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations…” – Matthew 28:19 AMP

15 Lessons I've Learned in 2015

WHAT'S UP GUYS.

I’m sure you’re all well aware that 2016 is on the horizon, bringing 2015 to a close. I can honestly say that 2015 has been a year of personal growth. At least, I hope it has. I think we all have this habit of making a million New Year’s resolutions and maybe keeping a total of two of them, but maybe life is more about making really monumental strides to be a better individual than setting unattainable, unrealistic yearly goals. Maybe life is about becoming everything you’ve ever wanted to be, one small choice at a time. Because the truth is, your life is comprised of a million tiny, insignificant decisions that amount to something pretty monumental.

I heard this statement in a message over the summer that really was a paradigm shift for me.

“It’s time to start acting like who you want to become.”

I’m sure you’re thinking, Wow, yeah, my mind is completely blown…because maybe, you’ve known this truth for ages and I’m just now catching up. But, that statement become somewhat of a life motto to me. Because, I think I get trapped into believing this mentality that you have to be a certain age to really be the kind of person you’ve always dreamed of being, or you have to be married, or graduated from college or whatever it may be. But, the truth is you can be who you want to be right now, in this very moment. It’s time to start acting like who you want to become.  

One of the most beautiful things about life is the ability to reinvent yourself. To have a fresh start. To live with the knowledge that you aren’t finished creating you were created to be. Here are some realizations I’ve come to in the past 12 months.

Without further ado, here are 15 things I’ve learned in 2015.

1.)    Not everyone is going to like you….and that’s okay.

Once again, I’m sure you’re absolutely shocked at this mind blowing revelation. But truly, it’s okay that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea. Just because a handful of people don’t care for you doesn’t mean that you are any less of a person.

2.)    The amount of followers you have is so completely irrelevant to actual life.

This is something I learned before 2015, but this year has definitely solidified my belief in the above statement. Guys, take it from someone who has “a lot of followers”. Followers and likes are SO irrelevant to real life. If you’re basing your happiness on the validation and affirmation you receive via social media, your worth will be contrived by something that is make believe. You are worth so much more than Instagram likes and Twitter Retweets.

3.)    Don’t forget the things that make you- YOU.

If you’re reading this you’ve probably already realized that I haven’t written anything since October. I know, crazy. I’ve realized that if I’m not writing and I’m not doing music, I don’t really know who I am. The whole thing kind of astounds me. If I’m not creating something and pouring my passions into an outlet, I feel completely lost and void of meaning and purpose. Don’t lose the things that make you who you are. You are who you are for a reason.

4.)    Your friendships will change…and that’s okay.

One of the hardest things about life is that it’s an ever changing cycle. Our lives consist of seasons and some friendships are not capable of transitioning to your next season. But, that’s okay, because life is all about that.

 

5.)    Traveling makes you richer.

Travel as often as you possibly can. Those experiences make life worth living.

6.)    You can wear navy with black.

Enough said.

7.)    Reading your Bible daily makes a massive impact on the outcome of your day/life.

Absorb the Word. Study the word. Live the Word. As Francis Chan says so bluntly, “I want to be someone who walked out of the Bible, not just the Bible belt”. For as long as I can remember I have always been obsessed with literature that was capable of moving me, whether to action or to realize a deep rooted emotion. I love the power of the written word. Words are powerful entities that have unparalleled effects. And after finishing reading the entire Bible this afternoon I am convinced that I will never stumble upon a work as powerful or life altering or moving as The Word.  No matter how many times you read it, it has the potential to speak to your heart in a way that is vastly different from the former. Trust me on this one.

8.)    Saving your money is the best thing you can do for your future.

Take it from a former shopaholic. Save. It gets you further in life.

9.)    Witnessing doesn’t have to be conventional.

I think sometimes our definition of being a witness for Jesus Christ is very limited. I think stepping out of your comfort zone and really allowing God to speak through you in a given moment is the most beautiful form of witnessing. That person on the plane or that cashier at Sam’s Club or that woman in your writing class all want to know about the love of Christ. Exude love. Radiate grace. Be unconventional.

10.) Your parents know way more about life than you realize.

Weird. Throughout the majority of your teenage years, you have this stigma that your parents have no idea what they’re talking about. But. The truth is, taking their advice beforehand saves you so much heartache.

11.) Realizing that people are imperfect and flawed, yet choosing to see the best in them anyway is one of the greatest things you can do for humanity.

Perfect humans are nonexistent, however humans are capable of having perfect moments. It is important to focus on those moments, instead of critiquing and criticizing. Because, hey. You want them to see the good in you!

12.) Drinking more coffee than is recommended per day actually makes you a happier person.

I’m just gonna leave that one.

13.) Invest in great perfume. Trust me.

 

14.) Every person is somebody. Each and every person you come into contact with has worth.

I think sometimes we get into this mindset that only “cool” people are worth getting to know. But every single person has worth and value and something to offer the kingdom.

15.) Moments.

Lastly, and most importantly, I’ve realized that those moments I have driving myself to work at 5:45 AM when it’s just me and Jesus are the most precious moments in the world. You know those moments where you realize how magnificent God is and how insignificant you are, yet he chooses to love you despite that. Those moments are the reason I’m alive.

Here’s to 2016. Bring it on.